"And Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, 'Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I restore it fourfold.' And Jesus said to him, 'Today salvation has come to this house...'" St. Luke 19: 8-9
"Bear fruit that befits repentance..." St. Matthew 3: 8
I was thinking this morning about people in my past, friends and family, many of whom are dead. It was a jumble of thoughts, of the good times we had, as well as the little (and not so little) dramas and problems. I also thought, with stabs of pain, of the many times I'd hurt some of those people. Now, I've confessed those things to God and to the Church and I know that God has forgiven me and that none of them will send me screaming into Hellfire. I also did what I could to remedy any hurt I'd caused...you know, apologize for the hasty word, be extra helpful with tasks they needed done, be more charitable in thought. And that's fine for those who are still living. But what about those who are dead, the ones I can NOT apologize to, help with tasks, ask forgiveness from? I still owe them something, but obviously can't repay it in this life. And it hit me: God can and does forgive us when we ask but He also asks that we, like Zacchaeus, bear fruit that befits repentance and make amends. If I can't do that here, then it must be required of me hereafter. A very sobering thought. That is why we must all, believers and non, appear "before the dread judgement seat of Christ" (as the Eastern Liturgy puts it). We may well be saved, not in mortal sin, but we still may well have to "make amends" and be cleaned up a bit (or a lot).
Like so many others I'd just sort of assumed that, well, I've been to Confession, done my penance, all is well. Making amends, well, that was for the really big sinners...you know, the bankrobbers, the swindlers, people who had destroyed others' property etc. But making amends also means...apologize for the unkind word, pray for those about whom you've had unkind thoughts, toss out literature you oughtn't to have, stop going to places that might encourage you to sin, drop unsavory acquaintances and friends, start giving to those beggars on the street at whom you turn up your nose in judgement. There is an old Evangelical hymn that says, "Jesus paid it all" and we Catholics believe that...Jesus DID pay it all to God and coming to Him in Baptism and subsequently in Confession, we are saved. But Jesus did NOT pay it all to those we hurt, THAT is left to us under His guidance. Better to take care of all that here than in the Life to Come in Purgatory.
So, I have two feelings about this all. Thank You, Lord, that we will have a chance to make amends in Purgatory and finish the cleaning up process (and given what I've said, Purgatory only makes sense), but I also must remember the Lord's words with some trepidation..."you will never get out until you have paid the last penny."
